He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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