Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
