Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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