are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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