haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
