Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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