Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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