I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
