I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
