god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
