she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
