Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
