thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Let's get the cat blown out
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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