I cockslap morals
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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