Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
