So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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