The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
