I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
