She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
