Pappa wants mamma naked
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
