Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
