David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
accomplished twins. life is a go
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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