I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
