In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
