The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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