ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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