I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
