i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize