I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
