oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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