my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
