I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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