My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
