He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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