ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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