My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
