Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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