wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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