words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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