the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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