That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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