tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my being single is dangerous.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
