i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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