He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
