I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
