Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
