Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
