Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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