afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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