Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize