next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
