Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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