Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
