I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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