just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
