you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
