so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize