then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
