remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
