it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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