I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
