There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
