After last night, I could never be a politician.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
