after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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