i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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