he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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