You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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