Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
