the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
