we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
