Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize