Sry I called you an 8
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
