dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
