I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
