I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize