It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
