Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
