that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am one with the molecules
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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