Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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