Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
