All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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